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July 1 - okay, I’ve seen two movies this year that have restored my faith in film…eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and napoleon dynamite. eternal sunshine was the closest I’ve seen film come to poetry since smoke. the movie is both beautiful and clever as all hell. charlie kaufman is truly a genius. and napoleon dynamite simply had me laughing straight through the entire movie. pedro for president.

July 12 – go see todd snider. go see todd snider. go see todd snider. go see todd snider. go see todd snider. go see todd snider. go see todd snider. go see todd snider. go see todd snider. go see todd snider.

February 11 okay, the other night, after I got off the stage at a local bar playing with a friend, a drunk girl (probably on some other stuff too) came up to me to say I was good or whatever. (by the way, I was drunk too...but she had me beat by a landslide). then she asked what I did for money and I told her I was a dancer. she asked, "are you in a troupe?" I misheard her and I said, "no...not for the troops." you would have thought that would have clued her in that I was full of it, but she asked again, "no, are you in a troupe?" I told her I wasn't, but that I used to be.

so she asked what kind of dancer I was and I said, "I do a lot of -o-gram work." she asked, "what?" and I said, "-o-grams." she looked at me, crinkling her nose, not understanding. so I explained, "you know, like strip-o-grams." "you're a stripper?" she asked. I said, "no. I said like strip-o-grams. I do a lot of birthday and holiday stuff. you know, cop outfits, cowboys, and stuff."

then I looked for a way out of the conversation and tried to pass her off on my friend, carrie. so I said, "that's actually how carrie and I met." and I turned to carrie for confirmation and she wasn't there (she was in the bathroom). "f..*k." so she said, "really, what costume were you wearing?" I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was "an astronaut" (yup, astronaut was the first thing that popped into my mind...). she looked at me a little weird, like "why would you dress up like an astronaut?" I had no idea, but then one of the best saves I've ever had came out of my mouth, almost as a question..."hope your birthday's out of this world..."

who says alcohol doesn't foster creativity?